MLB Shaking Up the Ump Situation

See the title for the link.

So I've been pondering whether or not to say, "Happy Friday everyone!"  Then I realized that I'm not a pussy.  Don't you hate that when people say stupid pin button shit.  You know like flair from Office Space, "Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!"  Moving on.  I don't think that was technically on a piece of flair but it sounded like it could have come from one.

So everyone in the world who has an opinion on baseball is screaming for instant replay in said baseball.  The umps this post season have been horrible.  Seriously, like the first time I had sex with some other than myself horrible.  This article is saying that due to the shitty calls, MLB is replacing the broke-dicks of umps they have working the games for experienced crew members that hopefully won't fuck up a fair ball by over a foot (ass munch called the ball foul - good for my Yankees bad for baseball).

Kind of like my fantasy of a world where I'm the only man and I'm king and the women fight for my seed; good for me, bad for the human race.

Anyways where was I, oh yea, so the umps fubar'ed a bunch of standard, fairly easy, calls.  So the article says that MLB is going against their standard of using at least one (sometimes more) playoff inexperienced ump for the game.

Here's my take: I'm kicking myself for not posting my opinion earlier because it was almost exactly what baseball is doing now.  Fuck this instant replay rule that people are crying about.  Live umps are part of the game.  Having a fucking robot call games is like buying a sex doll; while it may be fun for a first, you'll soon realize that life is boring without having someone to argue with.  Seriously, who doesn't love to see Ozzy Guillen getting ejected because he's an asshole?

Where was I (that's twice today), that's right - thanks voice in my head, no the other one, yes you - screw replay.  The umps through out the season are rated on how well they do, how many calls they fuck up.  Take either the top four crews or the top 24 umps and have them work the ALDS and NLDS.  From those four groups take the top two crews or 12 umps for the ALCS and NLCS.  Finally the top crew or 6 umps for the World Series.  Get it?  You dumb shit.

I will say that when a play happens within a 10th of a second, sometimes it's not too easy to make the right call.  That's all I'm saying to defend these shit bags, I used that already... these d-bags, better.

Alright, enjoy your Friday night.  Don't take life, shit, opinions, or anything for that matter too seriously; it's all a fucking joke in the end.  Oh yea, watch Law & Order or at least Tivo it.  I don't care if you delete it, I just don't want the show to go off the air... 20 years, come on folks.

Michael Jordan's Son Refuses to Wear Adidas Shoes at UCF

My new thing is this damn itch!  Aside from that the link to this article is in the header, check it out.

Michael Jordan's son is refusing to wear Adidas shoes at the university where he plays basketball.  MJ's son (is what I'm calling him because that is the only way we'd know him) only wants to wear his dad's shoes.  By refusing to wear these shoes, he may cost the university $3,000,000 in royalties from Adidas.

Here's my take: MJ's son, you haven't earned shit yet.  In fact all that you are saying is that you and your unearned ego are more important than the institution and the team you play for; which leads to you saying you're more important than your teammates.  If I was the coach or the athletic director I'd say get the fuck outta here.  Go to a school, non-rival, that has Nike sponsorship and play for them... or bench this little shit for his four years.  He can sit on the bench barefoot. 

Here is a question I have.  If this kid is any good, how come he isn't playing for a real college basketball team line North Carolina, Duke, Louisville, UCLA, or Michigan State just to name a few?  The reason why is because he probably wasn't recruited by any of those top basketball schools.  MJ's son, you're a hack.  Grow up, you're killing a wonderful legacy... sans that acceptance speech your father made in Springfield.

UPDATE (10/23/2009): How did I not say UCONN as a great college team?!?  Someone chop off my nuts and call me asshole, or nutless but that'd be rude.  Why would you say that to a man who just lost his junk.  You jerk!

Steve Phillips In Another Sex Scandal (Click Here for Link)

Okay people, listen up.  This is one of those articles that make me say what the fuck?!?

Steve Phillips was the GM for the New York Mets, what now seems like a lifetime ago, and is currently a baseball analyst for ESPN.  Twice in this douche bag's life he was caught in a sex scandal.  This article talks about his current one where the chick went batty.

This chick would call his house and tell his wife that only one of them can have Steve, stalked his children, and even crashed her car while fleeing his house after dropping off a threatening letter.  Finally his wife is suing for divorce; after all he did the same thing while working for the Mets.  The woman, from back in the Mets' days, sues the organization for sexual harassment... the settled out of court.

Here's my thoughts: this guy is a douche bag (as you saw from above) and what the fuck is wrong with you women?  This guy deserves to be sued for everything he is worth by his wife. He's a scumbag.  A lot of men are, some say it's nature, I say they're right... whatever.  He played with fire and he got burnt... twice.  See that, I used two dramatic... pauses.  I did it... again.

Women, how is it you're so fucking crazy?!?  No seriously.  I'm a man, and I'm pretty sure SP (that's Steve Phillips' initials) is a man too.  Our cocks are not made of crack.  My nectar doesn't become stiletto pumps once it drys on the bed or your stomach (or face if it's been a while).  So how come you crazy bitches get all, I don't know, fucking CRAZY?  Why is it that you can't get dumped, even if it is a bad dumping, and move on?  Why do you have to sue your place of employment?

NEWS FLASH: people spend almost half of their awake lives at work or school after the age of 5 according to a scientific study (I just made up).  Seriously think about it, you aim for about 8 hours sleep, work 9-5 (school 8-4) that's 8 hours, and another 8 for TV, food shopping, masturbation (that's almost 5 hours of my day), and transportation back and fro from work.  Point being people meet, interact, where they spend time being social.  If you work in an enviroment that requires interaction and you're not a fucking forest ranger (hell, they fuck deers and bears) you're probably going to interact with someone you desire.

Anyways, why can't you just say, "That didn't work out maybe I'll find someone else."  Would you sue a bar for meeting a guy there that was a dick?  How many bars would have a separate section for men and lesbos, and one section for women, gays and sailors (I'm an Army guy)?  They all would.  Sexual harassment statutes are for people getting their junk grabbed at work and for when they're told they can't have the promotion unless they munch rug/swab knob, not for relationship management or as a fucking support group. 

Finally, the whole stalking thing is sexy.  Women don't give it up, men have been doing it for centuries.  Seriously, see the above paragraphs and multiply them by 100.

Steve is a dick, but you women are fucking nuts.  Grow up and take a break up like a man.  Don't sue the company because you're an unstable CU Next Tuesday.

Megan Fox Changes Tune Regarding Transformers and Michael Bay

Megan Fox Changes Tune (Link Here)

Okay, Megan Fox is one of the Hottest Women in the World (aside from the woman in my life).

Shut the door Mom!  I said don't disturb me while I'm cleaning my room!

Sorry about that, where were we?  Oh, Megan is a hottie sans that weird thumb thing.  I think that she's starting to realize that she is really a no talent hooker looker and that's it.  In this article she's accepting an award from Spike TV's annual award show that no one in the world has ever heard about.  I'm not sure Spike knows of this show.  During her acceptance speech she does everything except bring Michael Bay on stage and blow him right there.  For the past few months she has been trashing Bay and the Transformers sequel because she things she is big shit.

After the flop of a movie called  'Jennifer's Body', or some other crap like that - I really don't care enough to look it up - she realized that if it wasn't for Transformers and Bay, she'd be another B-Lister striving for the attention of the public.  Hey, I wouldn't mind a vag shot.  Looks, she's a 10.  Talent, she's maybe a 5.  That's the combo that gets you soft-porn movies on Skinamax.

Megan (if you're not Megan Fox, don't read this) - You got this far on looks alone.  Maybe you blew your way to your six figure payday but I'm not sure.  Don't fuck it up be pretending to be something you're not: talented and one-of-a-kind.  You are just another pretty face who happened to catch a load in your mouth break.  You are seriously a missed connection away from being a Coors Light girl giving away key chains and t-shirts at my favorite bar.  Be grateful, hone your skills, be a little sassy (that's what your public wants), but please don't throw it away by acting like a diva, you have the looks not the talent.

A Little Country Music for Y'all

Brad Paisley Sings Alcohol on AOL Sessions

So I'm sure a lot of you (both of you) probably don't like Country Music.  Take a minute to listen to this Brad Paisley song, 'Alcohol' from AOL's Sessions.  This is just a plain old good song.  Don't worry, you don't have to sleep with your cousin, a sheep, or drive a tractor while wearing a John Deer hat... unless you want to.

Enjoy or not, I don't give a shit... because I'm mean.

Feds Are Chillin Out With Weed

Feds: No More Arrests for Pot-Smoking Patients (Link Here)

Okay, so here's the deal.  14 states have legalized marijuana for medicinal usage.  However, the Feds under George W. Bush were still enforcing the federal statue preventing and arresting for producing and using.  A memo released from the Justice Department under Attorney General Eric Holder says something to the effect of the feds will not be wasting resources on these local, legal growers and patients.  The states are as follows: Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington.

Here are a couple of points:  Mother Fucker, Posada struck-out.  That's not a point.  I'm surprised that the Bush administration would push federal regulations over state policy.  That is the exact opposite of Republican and Conservative views regarding big government.  Usually it's the Democrats pushing big government.

Didn't Bush blow coke off strippers asses?  I love that guy.

Let's look at this from a few points about if we took this new Fed policy to the next level and allowed possibly states to determine if they wanted to legalize pot.  Drugs, and anything for that matter that alter your state of functioning, are bad.  However, speaking strictly of pot, if used responsibly and recreationally can be fun and risks minimalized.  Without supporting facts, I will say that pot in general is not that bad for you.  You're inhaling smoke.  That's never good for you.  Aside from that and the occasional burnt knuckle on a bowl or roach, there is nothing that weed will do to you.  You can't get physically addicted, you can't contract a disease (maybe lip fungus by passing the spliff), and you can't overdose on a weed binge... you can't say the same of booze.

We all know someone who is an alcoholic and probably knows someone already who smokes way too much weed.  If made legal, we will definitely have a surge of dumb-ass stoners.  Not really helping my point but it is a reality if we take this issue to the next level.  We will open a small Pandora's box if made legal, but only a small one.  Point being, there are some negative facts that we can't ignore.  The positive will more that out weigh the bad.

Uncle Sam: Taxes, Taxes, and more Taxes!   Jobs, Jobs, and more Jobs!  Medical, Medical and more Medical (programs to help the obesity that will come with the munchies - that may be bad)!  You'll have to monitor, control, tax, and protect if made legal.  The taxes off this stuff would more than cover these additional services and regulations and have plenty leftover to apply to other programs, projects, deficit, or to increase the pay of our Soldiers, Marines, Seamen, and Airmen.  Plus the quality would be off the hizzle-for-shizzle!

I'm having trouble concentrating right now.  Yanks just loss to LAA and I'm pissed.  If I was stoned, I wouldn't care and go eat a cookie.   Now I'm pissed and I'm going to beat up a Mets fan... kidding, actually there was a Mets fan at the gym rooting for the Angels.  Mo-fo is in it deep!

Sunday Morning Headlines

Today is Sunday, that day of rest, the day of worship, the day of Football!  That's real Football you weird foreigners. 

In the NFL we have a record number of undefeated teams: 5-0 Vikings, 5-0 Broncos, 5-0 Colts, 4-0 Saints, and 5-0 Giants. Game of the day has to be the meeting of the Giants and Saints in New Orleans.  Here's a cool plot twist (the Saints put mineral ice in the jocks of the Giants).  Sean Payton is making Jeremy Shockey captain, at least, for the game to motivate him against his former team the Giants.  Shockey the tight end was originally a Giant and didn't exactly leave on good terms.

Police from Fort Collins, CO are looking to press charges against the parents of the 'balloon boy'.  It is becoming more and more apparent this was nothing more than a hoax.  If you remember, frantic parents of balloon boy called 911 saying that their son was in the basket of this huge helium weather/scientific balloon.  Turns out the little shit was hiding in the garage rafters.  These people had police, news, and even military searching for this balloon and its basket.  More to come...

Finally, for now, I'm hung over.  Not puking hung over but I could feel better.  I also ate a whole thing of jello.  I made myself some jello last week when I was not felling well.  It wasn't swine flu, however, I did shit on the windshields of a few cars so it may have been bird flu.  Anyways I ate some jello last week but had 2/3 of it left over and finished it for breakfast.  I gotta take a crap.